


the words

by birdinflight



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 09:14:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27348727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/birdinflight/pseuds/birdinflight
Summary: Katara hopes she’ll someday find the right words.[katara about kya’s death]
Relationships: Katara & Kya (Avatar)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	the words

**Author's Note:**

> In honour of the Day of the Dead, a really short piece about Katara losing her mom. If you don’t feel comfortable with this subject, please, don’t read it. Slightly inspired by the song “Black Butterflies and Déjà Vu” by The Maine.

_To all the people we love who are gone._

.............................................................  
  


Katara is a very smart girl, her mom says. Of course she is. She knows plenty of words. Every night before sleep, Katara repeats all the new words she heard so she won’t forget them the following day.

Unlike her brother, she always pays attention to Gran-gran’s old stories and Dad’s long speeches, learning all the words she can. Mom’s lullabies are filled with beautiful words too.

She uses them whenever she can. _What a big word for such a little girl_ , Dad jokes sometimes. Gran-gran says she is going to be as big as the words she loves the most.

Katara hopes so, but for that to happen, she needs to find a waterbender master to teach her. From time to time, Mom tries to help her, but she is no waterbender, therefore, cannot teach her like a real master. Katara adores all the time she gets to spend alone with her, waterbender or not.

One day, when everybody was still asleep, Mom woke her up early in the morning. The snow had just stopped and the sun was rising, lightening the village like Katara had never seen before. She couldn't recall anything more beautiful than that. _Mesmerizing_ , Mom said, and Katara spent a whole week using every opportunity she could to repeat this new word.

There are lots of words Katara would like to scream right now, but she can’t find them. In her head, mom’s last words to her echoing endlessly. _Go find your dad, sweetie. I’ll handle this._

Her legs are still short, but she ran as fast as she could and found him. Dad was good with words too, but he only screamed Mom’s name, not wasting their time. It’s the last word Katara remembers hearing. _Kya!_ Dad’s horrified voice calling for Mom.

And they would never hear an answer. She did just like Mom told her, she found Dad and they came home. But Mom lied to her. How could she lie? Mom once told her that _lie_ was a very small word with a big outcome.

Even so, she lied. Mom didn't handle that. When Katara and Dad arrived home, the evil man was nowhere to be seen, but Mom was. Lying on the ground, burned to death.

Katara doesn’t remember much about what happened after that. She recalls her own crying and a pair of hands trying to get her out of home, away from Mom, but she was able to escape them and reach Mom. Her brave and loving mom motionless in her dad’s arms.

Now, the whole village is ready for the farewells. They can all say something to Mom and give her a last gift. Her children, the most precious people in her life, shall be last. Dad is going to take her further south, to the land only the spirits live in. He says that is no place for a child and neither she or Sokka are allowed to go with them.

Mom is already wrapped in polar leopard hide when Katara gets closer. Truth hits her like a rolling wave. She will never see Mom’s face again nor feel her gentle touch braiding her hair. They will never make a snowman together. How can she smile again knowing Mom won’t see it?

Katara knows plenty of words. Of course she does. She is a very smart girl. And she knows what she is supposed to do. She must say the most beautiful and devoted words she could possibly find, but she doesn’t. Katara can’t find a sound, not even an echo leaves her mouth.

There are many words for pain. _Ache. Agony. Soreness._ But no word she knows seems to be able to describe what is running through her heart and mind. She knows pain. Pain is when she tries to waterbend and gets hurt or when she stumbles on the ice and gets wounded. This is much worse than pain, even if she can’t find the right words.

She knows every story Gran-gran ever told word by word, every lullaby Mom ever sang. But she can’t find anything in them to help her. They are just meaningless words now. Empty words. Katara thinks she may be empty too. Voice gone just like Mom. Everything gone with her.

There are many things Katara wishes she could say, could scream. She wants to do it. To show how broken she is and ever will be, how she can’t picture a life without Mom in it. She stays quiet, waiting for the right words to find her, but they don’t. What could she possibly say anyway? Would it make any difference if she could say everything she needs to? No word can bring Mom back to her.

Katara closes her eyes and Mom lying dead on their home’s ground is everything she can see. She doesn’t want to. She wants to remember her mom like she was while alive. Bright, confident and lovable. Not the image of her horrific death or Dad holding on tight to her dead body or Sokka crying like he never had before. She is sure she won’t ever be able to forget that, just like she will never forget the eyes of the evil man.

So she closes her eyes even more and Mom flashes in like a setting sun. Mom’s smile is the warmest thing in the whole world. Her eyes are brighter than any star. Her voice is softer than the first snow. Katara doesn’t know how she can go on without all these things. How to live in a world where Mom’s heart isn’t beating.

She still needs to learn new words and decides to wait for them. She hopes she’ll find them soon, until then, there is one thing she can say for sure. These are the most important words and Katara can only whisper. _I love you. I love you. I love you._

**Author's Note:**

> *The whispering part is inspired by Livia’s letter in the novel “Queen of Air and Darkness” by Cassandra Clare.  
> First time I publish something in English and you can obviously tell this isn’t my first language. I wrote this while thinking about all the things I’d say to somebody I love who died, but couldn’t find the right words to it. In the end, this story doesn’t say much. It’s just a midnight wondering of mine about love and loss through the eyes of a child (that’s the main reason for the verb tenses changes). I hope someday Katara finds the right words she wants to say to Kya. Hope I find them too.


End file.
